Spring is Here!!!!

Sore back slows Cleveland Indians closer Kerry Wood

Every year, winter seems longer doesn't it? Well, fear not my average chicago sports fans! Spring has arrived along with Kerry Wood feeling pain somewhere on his fragile body.

Vinny

Caption This Photo

"I like my women a little bigger than this."



Winner gets a free banana

Mark Prior's new job?

Name that Blackhawk

It's everybody's favorite new game where we try to guess the Blackhawk from the Hartsburg-Sutter-Graham-Molleken-Pulford-Suhonen-Sutter-Yawney era.

Today's Hawk: A Chris Pronger look-alike.

Unfortunate News out of ACSF camp

It's with a heavy heart that I write this note. I was informed over the weekend that my friend and esteemed colleague, who the general public knows as DecentDestroyer, had a positive test for the banned substance Human Growth Hormone back in late 2008. While I was saddened at first about the implications, now I am taking solace in knowing that that is why his ACSF posts were always so much better than mine. At least I have my dignity when I go to sleep at night wrapped in my Chicago Bears blanket, which incidentally was given to me by DecentDestroyer. How ironic?

ps - this picture was taken of me on the tennis court in a match against DecentDestroyer (unpictured) during the height of his (ab)use.

But......

There's no Chicago Sports News of late.

Check back soon!

New Bears Fullback

He'll eat your children and provide huge holes for Matt Forte.

Looking out for the next Plaxico Burress: Chicago Style

It's going to happen again I tell you. To be honest, I'm surprised it hasn't happened more. Athletes walking around in clubs packing heat, drinking expensive bottles of champagne, shooting themselves. It's very similar to the early 2000 phenomenon of being a young rookie and speeding and almost killing yourself on a motorcycle. First it was Jay Williams, then Kellen Winslow. There will be an encore to Plaxico, I guarantee it. To borrow a Cubs fan line, "It's gonna happen!" But who will it be you ask? That's what ACSF is here for. Here are my top choices.



Larry Hughes: Now you are probably saying to yourself. Larry Hughes would probably miss any shot that went off. You are probably true, but shooters keep shooting and Larry wouldn't stop until he got the job done.




Kerry Wood: So he isn't officially a Cub anymore, but he isn't officially on another team either. Wood loves finding new ways to hurt himself. Would you be that shocked to see a headling like this? "Wood to the DL with self inflicted gunshot wound." Granted, I'm not a Cubs fan.. but would anybody that knows or roots for the Cubs be shocked by that?



Joakim Noah: Noah has been arrested before so it wouldn't surprise me if he showed up in the Deerfield police blotter. You gotta believe Noah owns an arsenal of weapons. Plus, I'm sure Noah has a huge repertoire of dance moves that would make it easy for a loaded weapon to go off in his pants.




Honorable Mentions go to: Drew Gooden, AJ Pierzinski, Alfonso Soriano, Brandon Lloyd, Lance Briggs, Aaron Gray (hunting, not in a club).

Thinking of changing to ANYSF

I got back from a fruitless trip to Argentina with my tail between my legs after finding no leads to the Nocioni family. I guess it speaks to a complete lack of story in the Chicago sports world. As a result, the ACSF team is pondering a company move to New York since that seems to be where all the drama exists. Guys shooting themselves in the leg, being held up, and rumors of Lebron coming to town. All that Chicago has is a stale story about Savard's firing from months ago and whether Steve McMichael is Hall of Fame worthy.