He'll eat your children and provide huge holes for Matt Forte.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Looking out for the next Plaxico Burress: Chicago Style
It's going to happen again I tell you. To be honest, I'm surprised it hasn't happened more. Athletes walking around in clubs packing heat, drinking expensive bottles of champagne, shooting themselves. It's very similar to the early 2000 phenomenon of being a young rookie and speeding and almost killing yourself on a motorcycle. First it was Jay Williams, then Kellen Winslow. There will be an encore to Plaxico, I guarantee it. To borrow a Cubs fan line, "It's gonna happen!" But who will it be you ask? That's what ACSF is here for. Here are my top choices.
Larry Hughes: Now you are probably saying to yourself. Larry Hughes would probably miss any shot that went off. You are probably true, but shooters keep shooting and Larry wouldn't stop until he got the job done.
Kerry Wood: So he isn't officially a Cub anymore, but he isn't officially on another team either. Wood loves finding new ways to hurt himself. Would you be that shocked to see a headling like this? "Wood to the DL with self inflicted gunshot wound." Granted, I'm not a Cubs fan.. but would anybody that knows or roots for the Cubs be shocked by that?
Joakim Noah: Noah has been arrested before so it wouldn't surprise me if he showed up in the Deerfield police blotter. You gotta believe Noah owns an arsenal of weapons. Plus, I'm sure Noah has a huge repertoire of dance moves that would make it easy for a loaded weapon to go off in his pants.
Honorable Mentions go to: Drew Gooden, AJ Pierzinski, Alfonso Soriano, Brandon Lloyd, Lance Briggs, Aaron Gray (hunting, not in a club).
Larry Hughes: Now you are probably saying to yourself. Larry Hughes would probably miss any shot that went off. You are probably true, but shooters keep shooting and Larry wouldn't stop until he got the job done.
Kerry Wood: So he isn't officially a Cub anymore, but he isn't officially on another team either. Wood loves finding new ways to hurt himself. Would you be that shocked to see a headling like this? "Wood to the DL with self inflicted gunshot wound." Granted, I'm not a Cubs fan.. but would anybody that knows or roots for the Cubs be shocked by that?
Joakim Noah: Noah has been arrested before so it wouldn't surprise me if he showed up in the Deerfield police blotter. You gotta believe Noah owns an arsenal of weapons. Plus, I'm sure Noah has a huge repertoire of dance moves that would make it easy for a loaded weapon to go off in his pants.
Honorable Mentions go to: Drew Gooden, AJ Pierzinski, Alfonso Soriano, Brandon Lloyd, Lance Briggs, Aaron Gray (hunting, not in a club).
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Thinking of changing to ANYSF
I got back from a fruitless trip to Argentina with my tail between my legs after finding no leads to the Nocioni family. I guess it speaks to a complete lack of story in the Chicago sports world. As a result, the ACSF team is pondering a company move to New York since that seems to be where all the drama exists. Guys shooting themselves in the leg, being held up, and rumors of Lebron coming to town. All that Chicago has is a stale story about Savard's firing from months ago and whether Steve McMichael is Hall of Fame worthy.
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